I believe in self satisfaction.
Yet, I get jealous easily.
Can this two come hand in hand?
I wonder.

Looking through facebook always makes me envy those ppl who are born with a silver spoon, who do not have to get stress over not being smart enough, who is loved by the whole world, who has a pretty face that makes all guys swoon over you..
The list seemed to be never ending...
Is this a girl thing? Or is it just me?
Is other girls envy of my current status, just like how im envy of theirs..
I wonder.

Do you think pure hard work can get me those things other people possessed?
Im not trying to snatch from them. I just want to rightfully gain them and relish the moments where i can actually possess and enjoy those wonders..
But currently at this moment, i feel that im very very very far away from getting those wonders.
OTOKEH?!?!?!?

Busy at work these few days. Which is good.
I like the adrenaline rush.
I feel motivated to go to work.
I do not feel so guilty submitting the timesheet.
I hope this adrenaline rush can be consistent till nearer the end of my IA.

Im going to take 1 day MC to extract my wisdom teeth tmr. It has been hurting for 1 week already.
Im scared. I keep remembering the pain i experience the previous time i extract it and my legs will go wobbly at the thoughts of it. I hope all will go well tmr..
Wish me luck!

Miserable day today. I cried in front of my boss.
Reason being:
My Logbook.

I do not know the requirement for the logbook. Im insecure about wat i have written inside it. Its making me stress. I need to meet my professor whom i have no idea what she is like. Its making me stress. I know im wasting my boss time by burdening him with all the minor issues. Im apologetic abt it and wasting his time is making me stress.

All this stress factors was worsen by the fact that my boss did not respect the hard work i had put into my logbook. I dunno whether its the "MNC way" of expressing themselves. They make jokes abt everything while hiding meanings behind it. They laugh at basically everything which sometimes i dun even find it funny. And the ironic thing is that i need to laugh along with them even though i do not see the humour.
Im real. Not fake. I cant handle their way of doing things. im abt to give up. and actually, i had half given up.

After noticing me crying, he started putting sugar on all the things he did n say. I really feel like smashing him.
Not gaining respect from the people working under him does not give him the right not to respect my hard work. N especially when he was the one who was emphasising so much abt it during the internal meeting. Such double standard is definitely distasteful.

And because of this, i postpone my timesheet with Thomas. I seriously cannot handle 2 troublesome people in a day. This also means that my Monday will not be a fresh start. Saded.


Was discussing abt silly boy's brother going overseas to study law in the car just now. He told me quite a while ago but at that point, after hearing it, i was quite angry. My first impulse was to shout at his immature brother. But i controlled. Knowing that silly boy n i will just end up quarreling abt the same issue again.
So the conclusion after so long was to get a bank loan of 40k to travel to some foreign land (England) to study law which i dun even know if he is capable of.
Knowing my silly boy well enough, i know he will try to help his brother clear his debt next time. I foresee myself slogging hard in the near future. A BIG BIG BIG SIGH...
My dream of having a simple life... poosh.....

I finally finished 7 weeks of IA.
The first few weeks of work was bearable.
But now, it is getting a bit suffocating.

Reason being: I dunno how to handle my mentor!! My mentor is an ah beng. Like seriously.
There's nothing wrong being one!! Im not discriminating him or anything (and im in no position to discriminate him esp when im the one working under him) But in a work place, i prefer someone whom i can talk "intelligently" to esp when it is something related to my sch stuff, to my work stuff. My idea of funny is not what he finds funny, therefore, i often find myself mumbling to myself or saying the wrong stuff to him.
ok. I think i know the problem. The problem is that i cannot communicate with him.

The company im in is an MNC. I need to fill up a timesheet every week stating the projects im handling every hour in the week. THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS!!! what do they expect an intern student to handle!! N ESP WHEN THEY DUN EVEN GIVE US PROJECTS TO HANDLE!!! im dying because of this time sheet.
I feel guilty every friday filling up tt form. Its eating me up as i know im in the wrong for not doing work but yet at the same time, i cannot do anything abt it because they are the one not giving me anything. I hate this helpless feeling im sensing every day at work:[[[
Saded.

Silly boy not being very sympathetic abt my situation AT ALL. rahhh...
i concluded. I shall earn enough $$ n be a boss next time. lala..

Silly boy calling me. I shall continue next time. I think ill have a lot of whining to do for the rest of my 15 weeks:[[[

I know. Im lazy again. I seriously swear i wanted to type abt the freaking cold weather n routine lifestyle i had when i was in China immediately when i came back. BUT inertia too high. So i shall skip tt entire part n move on to my working life. which is happening now. DREADS.

Working at Pb now. It is a Mechanical n Electrical Consulting Firm. Totally mind blowing when i reached there. The things tt they do there is totally foreign n scary. BUT fortunately i need not handle those complex circuit drawing but just need to understand them. 

So it's basically going back to sch just tt i dun get to laugh w my frens, sleep during lesson, play w my hp(animal farm. hee hee) blatantly or just do my own stuff when i have nothing to do. 

My mentors there are not very willing to teach me really chim stuff as they know ill be leaving after 6 months. So i dun get to handle the important things. Which in a way is good. But it gets really difficult to kill time when they dun even want to bother abt u. 

 This is a problem for most of my fren doing intern at this moment. Difficult to let time pass. Nothing to do. Boring~~~

So the key to doing intern is to pretend n act busy. Find ur own schedule by including long breakfast time, toilet break n look forward to lunch n go home time. lol.

Oh. but e really happy thing abt being in pb is tt i get 2 really nice n caring seniors. Irwin n Soon Chye:]]] Really thanks to them, i adapt very well n quickly into pb. Especially Irwin, cos he is in the same division as me and we are under the same mentor. He really teach me a lot of stuff:]]]

Beams. All my bad impression of him abt leaving IGC behind in the middle of last year is gone. Happy happy.

Oh. i found this at the toilet cubicle n find it very amusing. lol.

Silly boy dun seem to be very happy at his work place. But fortunately he has better intern frens than me. I hope his work will become better n more enjoyable w loads n loads of work to do. hee hee.

Love u my dear. Really miss spending a lot a lot of time w u. Now we can only meet once or twice every week. Oh well.

Suddenly all alone. It was what i had been waiting and looking forward. But when it comes, i feel so scared. Maybe it's because im still not mentally prepared.
Sisters left for China to see parents just now. I woke up late n only manage to say goodbye to them. Tt was when i realised "THEY ARE LEAVING? OMG. I TOT ITS TMR???!?!?!"
When they left, the house feels so quiet n suddenly i dunno wat to do. Feels like a lot of things to do by myself yet all that can wait. I dunno. confused feeling.
Maybe ill be having that feeling again when im the one leaving for China alone to find my parents. Kind of looking forward to this new found independence to something as simple as taking the aeroplane myself. Haha.

Silly boy having exam later so he cannot talk to me to calm me down. I should start on my revision too. I have an exam tmr. 0.0

Things i need to do after exams are over.
1) Settle Silly boy's annoying shoes. Yes. i bought him a really expensive shoes online for his birthday and 2nd anniversary. In the end it is too big. Blame it on his small feet. Seriously. His feet is as big as mine!!! :o How can that be!
2) Borrow Dreamweaver book so that i can practice when im in China. Should follow what silly boy says by following up on all the skills i learn in school. Practice makes perfect and next time you see this blog, it will definitely be something really impressive. Hee hee!!
3) Rebond my hair. I decided to do it again. Keeps me pretty and less maintenance to do. Especially now i have weird bangs that still looks like it's floating away from my head. Lol.
4) Pack luggage for my China trip.
5) Hopefully settle my IA stuff before i fly overseas. Not sure how reliable the internet at China is. Hmmm..
6) Enjoy the remaining days with Silly boy before i fly over to China. Hee hee...
Er ren shi jie at home:]]]]

Oh yes. Need to think of ways to sent my stupid neighbour off to some weird place. Arab? From what i understand and rmb. Lol. Everyone is flying off. But somehow im glad i am still be in Singapore. For good. Love my house. Love my silly boy. Love everything familiar to me. Hee hee.

Thanks to our dear Kenneth, the whole group slept at 5 to 7am last night. I slept the earliest cos i did not take a nap in between like the others. In a way, we took turns to keep Kenneth company through the night to urge him to continue and to have someone discussing along with him. Oh well. Blame him for his last minute work. I use the term "wait till things burning at his butt already then start doing" Haha. And because of this project work, my dear silly boy change his opinion of his dear gay friend. lol.
Was quite frustrated with Susan in the afternoon when we were doing the editing for the content. I wrote those and trust me, it's not an easy feat to churn out that much of rubbish. And instead of feeling appreciative, they laugh at my crude writing. Seriously got on my nerve. And worst thing was that i completed all those rubbish last Thursday so that Susan had time to edit. And all she did was a pathetic slip shot work. That makes it worse. i really feel like shooting her by telling her off that editing was supposed to be your duty and yet now you expect the whole group to help you do the editing >;[
Rahhhh...
No doubt she is good. But the amount of contribution she has on this project is really just -.-
And worst thing is that Kenneth gave her a lot of credit for her "work". Just because Siew Hoon n I are not around to show you that we are doing the website, is not equivalent to us not contributing anything!
Please have a look at the dropbox and see how much contribution (rejected or used) have we done! >;[
Never am i going to group with them. Their working attitude really turns me off even though all of you are indeed capable.

Our website looks good after one whole day and night of battling.

oasisappmaker.com/ntu/t43

The only thing that i think my anger and effort this whole semester with them is still worthwhile. *Heavy sighing

Love my silly boy for supporting me and listening to my complaining when i know he still have tons of preparation to do for examinations. Love you.

My MacBook died. So heart pain and sad:[ Spend a total of 5days without computer, 2 days to re-download all my softwares. Now my MacBook is really an illegal product with not a single authorise software. Haha. So cool.
Was telling Siew Hoon that the only advantage of studying in this course is that i get to become a really pro pirate. lol.

School ended for me yesterday. I spend a blissful day at JP w my silly boy. He was really nice n we watched Skyfall together. JP renovated their theater so now all their chairs' handle can be lifted up. hehehe.. Finally get to snuggle with my silly boy:]] n might be the last time for a very long time...

Submitted my final assignment for DA3000. As promise, here is a copy:] My proud work..

After DA3000, i really kind of regret not taking up Product Design in NUS. Im definitely not a pro or have hidden talent in this direction, but after this mode, i secretly want to get into designing. Something like CAD.
This is really something i can do till 3am in the morning just to complete the work, this is something i will get irritated when someone calls while im doing the designing. Haha.

Time to get started with my revision! Though i did my tutorials regularly, im still not confident of them. Too much memorising to do as i dun really quite understand all the signals stuff... haizz.. Jia you Zhong Wanyan!!!

Officially sick. Having a cold and a sore throat now. zzz..
Cant even use my brain to think properly, not that i utilise my brain much in the first place -.- It's so fuzzy wuzzy now. If i try to force myself to study, surely nothing will enter my wooly head.
So.. decided to spend some time to type out a wooly post. haha.

Pon two lectures to visit silly boy at his hall this morning. He was still sleeping when i reached. We were supposed to eat breakfast together, in the end, we just nua like 2 lazy pigs in his room. shiok! End up having lao ban tou hua bought frm yesterday IGC canvassing for breakfast. Still shiok!

Today's lab session was not bad. Partnering xinyu makes doing lab really easy and fast. She is really good:] Guess poly students are really one notch higher in terms of lab. They seemed so experience and capable of understanding even the most confusing computing terms in the lab manual. First time having a good lab partner:] Like seriously first time -.-

Kenny Hong shot my ideas down for my improved massager during DA3000. So now i need to brainstorm again in another direction. But at least he provided me with another direction to think about and not throw me somewhere on an isolated island:]
Once again, ill post up my final assignment once im done:]
Besides that, Im really pleased that he remembers my name. N its not because im prominent for the wrong reason but because i just stand out in my own way without having the need to do anything extra. Having a prof remembering ur name is really rare in Uni, n especially so for ppl like Siew Hoon n i where we often blend among the crowd. i guess the feeling of being acknowledge by someone really makes a difference to ur attitude:]

I like him:] He is a good teacher:]
He used my folder as a model example for the different assignments to be submitted (im not sure maybe it's because im the last person in the class, so out of convenience he chose mine), he is not bias towards phoebe who seemed to excel as long as it is art related, he provides solution instead of being like another joon kiat just demanding that it is not what he wants in his annoying tone:]

Oh. i left my phone in the toilet cubicle today. I blame it on my wooly head. Silly boy went through a lot of trouble to retrieve it for me and the worse is i didnt even realise i lost it until he called siew hoon. Haha. so i realise i lost my phone when i realise my phone was safe with silly boy.
Love my silly boy. Seeking for credit the whole of today. tsk tsk.

Im seriously annoyed w my da jie. Seriously.