Just suddenly feel the impulse to blog. Not that im feeling exceptionally emotional all anything. Which is kind of weird and rare. Cos i dun usually feel this way.

Came back from my Vietnam trip but the photos are still not up yet. This explains why i have not blogged about it so far. Wensheng said it was more thrilling than the Taiwan trip we had last year. But i thought otherwise. Overall, i just dislike the weather. The weather really dampened my mood when i was touring the country. N on top of that, I really dislike what happened to Kenneth nearing the end of the trip. He became detached from us and started showing a bit of attitude.
I shall not bad mouth about my fren in this public space. But just want to clarify that he is still a nice friend to me:]

Took awhile to get used to school especially after the 1 semester of no school because of internship and because of the Vietnam trip directly before school starts.
I dropped DV, my art module eventually cos i did not enjoy the lesson at all. I feel inferior inside the class and Siew Hoon was not around to make the lesson more bearable. I see no reason to continue torturing myself further hence dropped it although it is so highly demanded by everyone.
To me, NO LOST AT ALL. hehe.

FYP is stressing me but i continue to procrastinate >.< Tell me how?!?!?
I have to admit that partially the reason is because i dun really enjoy the topic i am doing. It is about analyzing en bloc situation at UE Square. Calculation/investment is totally not my cup of tea. I took it up then was because i want to avoid the trouble of approaching another professor to be my FYP prof. I guess i am like my father too..

Cadence, my tutee is causing me problem too. I can control her better now but she is still not treating my lesson seriously. Generation Z/Strawberry generation is really getting too smart for their own good. They are getting too privileged to see the unprivileged. Therefore, i refuse to donate money to those people on the streets now. They dun even know why they are doing charity! Anyway, my tutee had mocked test in school recently. I seriously doubt she will do well. I suspect my days with her are getting short. Which means my source of income is also disappearing. Oh well. I just hope i can get a better tutee next time. One that will listen to me and treasure my time with him/her.

Just went for session just now. Some people still get on my nerve like usual. But i get to talk to a lot of people today. I get to see the progression of how RSPID had moved. Quite interesting to see batches i had not seen before. Reflection from today:
- I am not a confident speaker and never will be. Regardless of how many times i tell myself before i speak up, to be calm and confident, i can never do it. Therefore, i always admire those people who can speak so well in front of people. Regardless of whether they are just "all-talk-only", but i still think it is a good trait that not everyone can have.
- I agree that session should be more trainee-centric. Although wensheng said we need to care about the volunteers' welfare too, but i think trainees are actually a good source to bond people together. What Sheena and Vina talk about every time we meet usually revolve around our own trainee.
- Only Chen Sze recognised me as her teacher, but not Joanne. lol. Not that i mind. I am usually the silent teacher for Joanne.
- I love my silly boy a lot. Seeing all the couples gathered today, i realised that it is really a very fortunate thing that i have my silly boy with me today too. Someone to disturb. Someone whom i know so dearly. Someone whom i can call mine. Someone whom i can call as n when i liked. I hope silly boy feels the same too. Especially when we have been together for 2 year + 9 months:]

Jia u silly gal! Path seemed tough ahead. But have a little bit more faith in yourself and i am sure you can craft a peace of sky for yourself:] 

On my way to grandma's house on sunday. The sunset was enchanting.

Read something written by Mr Richard Bong on nyconnecxions today. It was quite interesting.

Human beings are, by nature, social animals. We need time to think and dream. We need time to ponder. We need time to wonder. We also need love. We need to love and be loved. Without these our lives are empty and meaningless. Time to spend with ourselves, our friends and our families is essential to our totality.

Despite this, we treat one another quite badly. We do not acknowledge the presence of others, we are loud and obnoxious at inappropriate times, we fail to clear up after ourselves, we are inconsiderate, we are rude. we ignore others in need; and the list of sins continues. My wish is for us to recognise the 'humanity' in each other; that which distinguish us from the beasts of this planet.

PS. Just for laugh. Jia Jia was being retarded during chem on tue!! ahaha..

She threatened me not to put it on facebook. So here is it. xp

Tot the 2nd pic was really funny cos it seemed like she's hiding from big birdie, the big bad bird. AHAHA:]]]

Hello. Im back from the torturous night cycling trip!!

Slept 6.5 hours stright once i reached home. hees.

Still feeling lethargic n nua-ish, especially my thighs n feet but i still feel like sharing my experience n feelings with you now. This trip was emo-ish as it made me think a lot.. a lot.. a lot.

No idea why. Maybe when a person is in the restless mode and when the only company u have is the nature, u cant do anything other than think n think n think.

Starting on the lighter note, i made my jounrney down to ECP w Corina yesterday at around 7. Was conserving my energy on the bus, forseeing the tiring day ahead. Consequently, i couldnt keep up w Corina's enthusiasm half of the time. Oh well.

We started off from ECP to Changi Village, our first stop, at around 10.

This is my faithful bike that i had sort of grown feelings with after the night:]

Bicycle no 138:]

It didnt give me any problems, unlike shermaine's bike!! ahaha..

3 CHEERS TO MY BELOVED BIKE:]]]]

Group photo before we set off. Was really scared then as i had not ride a bike for almost 1.5 years:[ So was not in the mood to take any photos but as a very NICE fren. i just took it 4 them. smiles.

My group consists of 5 interacters, Shermaine, joyce, jing chun, yi hao n me. N 5 other random ppl Bryan, yi jing, zhi yuan, jonathan n corina. Who caught my attention first was Bryan. He insisted on not hanging the lightstick, insisted on not wearing the helmet, insisted on listening to his MP3 while cycling. He's one defiant n annoying brat!!

The very first rest stop.

Beginning to feel "mr 周公" nudging me by then.

The route for the first part of the journey was still relatively easy as we were still cycling on bicycle tracks. That was when all the thinking started. I began to realise that the way ppl cycle actually showcase a lot about a person's character.

For me, i realised that im a very good follower more than a leader. I dun like to cycle in front as it's pressuring to know that hundreds of ppl are behind me n their speed actually depends on how fast im cycling. I like to cycle on my own pace. Even if im lagging behind, i know im capable to catch up n there's no need to rush.

I realised that i am a save walker. In the sense that i like to keep my distance from the ppl in front of me. I prefer to be save than sorry, even if it means sacrificing the thrill i'll be enjoying by cycling really really fast.

Was telling joyce yesterday on one of our rest stop that i actually prefer to run or walk(the simplest mode of vehicle) even if the distance is really long. I can control where i want my legs to bring me. Im very sure i can rely on them to find my destination. I can depend on them to keep me save. Whereas, if i were to use a car, a bicycle, a motorbike, a bus, i can never have full control over them.

Beside finding out more about myself, i found out tt corina n i are actually quite different. Initially i tot that she could be my soulmate whom i can go to school with, have fun with, rely on when im faced w problems as our backgounds n situation are really alike.

We faced similar problems at home, in school n in studies. However, i feel that we actually have a WIDE GAP in terms of character.

Dun really know how to describe it.

Maybe it's because our friendship comes to fast n swift that we do not really have a chance to know each other other than what is on the surface. Unlike the bonds i had shared with Sarah, sing, ying n ger, which is build up slowly through different experience, arguments, quarrels, examinations n festivals. They understand me more than i understand myself, vice versa, i understand them more than they understand themselves. Words seemed unnecessary when im with them, making silence so comfortable.

But i cannot deny tt i do care for corina. To me, she feels like a person in need of protection. Very fragile in the inside tt i cannot simply just throw her aside n ignore her.

Corina is like a toodler, attention demanding, very sensitive, shy, highly dependent on others n when you treat her nicely, she'll treat u like 神仙姐姐.

When im with her, i feel like her mother more than her fren. oh well. there's nothing wrong with this relationship of ours but im afraid tt one day i might disappoint her. Being a mother is very tiring and stressful. Im afraid tt one day i might not be able to cope with this duty of mine n hurt her really badly.

Oh well. Enough of all this. mom is chasing me to do some work.

My sis bought this from more than words while i was sleeping like a pig at home just now.

Im the big bird (diao)

Piggy is the elmo mo mo

Da jia is the cookie monster

LOVE IT:]]]]

Food for thoughts:
Gena told me something very interesting on our way home today.
Existarism is actually a theory by a little boy, saying that " If i die, the whole world will collapse together with me because my surrounding exist because of my presence"

This theory is very thought provoking. It would never have crossed my mind EVER if Gena hadnt brought it up today.

Since young, i have this mentality that my presence is so insignificant that even if i disappear in this world 4 3 full days, the whole world will still be orbiting n life will still go on as usual 4 majority of the people.
BUT if i were to follow the theory of existarism, INDEED, some tangible n intangible objects do exist because of my presence. Things like my bed, the plants that i had planted, my boosty, my wierd thinking, unique ideas n stupidity. The list goes on n on.

Many a times, people only look at the pestimistic side of life that they have neglected the fact that every individual can actually contribute in their very special way, regardless of whether it's something dramatic or something small. Many a times, people do not have the courage to say confidently that YES!! My presence is so important that people will die together with me if i no longer exist. Many a times, people will mock at the stupidity of those people who say that.

BUT Y?? IS IT WRONG??

Just went to jeremy's blog just now. Some random freak is tagging scarstic comments on his tagboard. Somehow i feel injust n unfair for him as it was really hurtful n coming from someone annoymous. *bleah*

Im only a outsider who knows nothing about that problem of his. But i feel that even if jeremy is in the wrong, only his gf has the right to make those comments. Outsiders like me n the people out there should not interfere.

In my opinion, relationship is really a scary business. It makes people fly to the blue moon n at the same time, it can bring a person to hell immediately. It makes people go crazy with love and at the same time it can make people go crazy with tears. I have seen so many such cases even though i have never been in one before.
But y r people still searching for their prince charming out there?? Why is it that people still stubbornly cling on to the notion that getting married n attached is a part n parcel of life?? Why do they not accept the undeniable truth that marriage or getting attached is the start of doom's day?? And the person included me!!

WHY??? WHY??? WHY???

Oh well. Gena's inspiring speech this evening makes me wonder whether im thinking too simplistically. That im living in my own cinderella's world without realising that everything may just be so superficial.
Sigh. The conclusion i got today was that talking to an ARTS student is really interesting. They look at problems in a different angle n a different prospective that really provoke the logical mindset of the SCIENCE stream student.